5 Things Crocs Are Good For:
This morning, while running some errands downtown, I noticed a man wearing a pair of fur-lined, brightly-colored Crocs. He caught me staring and asked if I liked them. At first, I wanted to lie and tell the man I loved his shoes, but I knew that would be wrong, so I told him the truth. Before I really thought about it, I said, “I kind of really hate them”. The look on his face was that of utter shock, as if no one had ever told him Crocs were ugly before. He then said to me, “well, that’s the first time anyone has ever said that“. I did apologize for my bluntness, but it felt good to be honest. I’ve never understood how a shoe could be universally hated, yet purchased and worn by so many. In an attempt to identify with Croc owners, I have compiled a short list of things I believe these futuristic flip-flops are truly good for:
1. Setting on Fire:
Need to burn something, but can’t decide on what? A pair of Crocs is always the answer.
2. Scaring Off Women:
In the market for lady-repellent, because you’d much rather be alone? I’m almost certain Crocs were designed for this.
Need a new chew toy for precious little Scout? He’ll love some tasty new Crocs.
4. Disappointing Your Friends and Family
Want to show everyone how far you haven’t come? Some custom Crocs should do the trick.
Need to get even with someone? Get them Crocs for Christmas and burn the receipt.
On a Serious Note:
If you thought this was funny, or know a family member or two that need to catch the hint – share this on Facebook and Twitter. Also, Make sure you check out our boot guide to learn how real men master footwear.